Role Reversal
by IMTheresa
Summary: Takes place post season 1 finale. Dean is having a crisis of faith and Sam has to find a way to help him deal with it. Because nothing is ever easy, there's something else going on that Dean can't explain even to himself.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them._

_A/N: Thanks to Kelli for beta reading and for giving me encouragement in all areas of my life. I don't know where I'd be without her!_

He stood outside a diner; far enough away that he wouldn't be noticed but not so far that he couldn't see inside. The diner had a large window and the bright lights inside made watching easy.

"Dude, you really need to get your nose away from that computer for a while." Dean said to his brother when he didn't so much as look up as a young girl in a short skirt walked by.

Sam glanced at him. "Huh?"

"That's my point."

"You have a point?" Sam asked, distracted.

Dean smirked and Sam smiled to himself from behind the laptop.

"Okay, College Boy," Dean said after a few minutes of silence. "What's so interesting over there anyway?"

"Could be our next case.." Sam said turning the computer so Dean could see it.

Dean only nodded, barely looking at the screen.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked.

Dean feigned interest in a French fry, avoiding his brother's stare. He shrugged. "Nothing."

Sam knew that wasn't true; Dean's mood had changed too quickly. But he didn't press. He knew better than to push Dean to talk when he clearly wasn't ready. He twisted the computer back around but turned his attention to the burger in front of him. They finished eating in a semi-comfortable silence.

He retreated further into his hiding place when the boys left the diner. He would follow them for a while even though he didn't have to. He would always know where they were.

Sam knew there was something on his brother's mind but also knew that unless he kept the communication open, Dean would retreat completely into his own world. He didn't press him to talk about what bothered him but did keep him talking about other topics. If Dean fell into a complete silence, it would be harder to get him to open up. Dean drove for another couple of hours before pulling into the parking lot of a motel.

The room was the same as just about every other room in every other motel. Dean dropped his duffle bag on the floor and continued to the bathroom. Sam stretched out on one of the beds and kicked off his shoes. He thought about the last few months and how things had changed for his brother. They'd reunited with their father only for Dean to realize John didn't have all the answers. He'd made mistakes and continued to do so and while that was no different than any other parent, it was hard for Dean to accept. He had started to question their father's decisions and while he'd begged Sam not to shoot while the demon possessed him, his feelings for John had changed.

The three of them barely escaped the demon only to nearly die when a possessed truck driver plowed into the side of the Impala. Sam regained consciousness in the hospital days later and learned that while John had been admitted along with him and Dean, he checked himself out against the doctor's wishes. He had a vague idea that maybe the demon was inhabiting John again, but he was in no condition to go after his father and right now Dean needed him.

While still a patient himself, Sam spent hours at his brother's bedside willing him to get well. Dean was barely alive before the truck hit them and the doctors weren't optimistic about his chances but Sam knew that Dean would recover. He couldn't explain how he knew; there was no vision involved, but somehow he knew. That's why he didn't try to find other help for his brother. That, and because of what happened with the faith healer he'd found after Dean's heart attack.

Dean did wake up and he did recover. Physically. But something in him changed when he found out John had left them. Again. Dean fell into silence when Sam told him John was gone and he stayed that way for a long time. There was nothing Sam could say or do to get him to talk; he wouldn't even entertain Sam's idea about the demon. But Dean did take solace in his brother's company and even though he did nothing to make Sam feel comfortable during his visits, he relished them. Sam knew his brother was hurt by their father leaving and while it seemed to outsiders that Dean was pushing away his only remaining family, Sam knew that wasn't the case. Dean was merely doing what Dean did.

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them._

_A/N: Thanks to Kelli for beta reading and for giving me encouragement in all areas of my life. I don't know where I'd be without her!_

**Role Reversal**

**Chapter 2**

Dean came out of the bathroom and crawled into bed without a word.

"Dean?"

Sam was greeted with silence. He sat on the edge of his bed and leaned forward, hands clasped.

"Dean, come on man. What's going on?"

"I'm tired."

Dean was released from the hospital only a month ago and still had some physical issues but rarely admitted he wasn't at 100. It was lucky for Dean that Sam knew him so well or he would probably end up pushing himself way too far. He was always willing to stop if Sam said he was tired or hurting.

"What else?"

Dean said nothing. Sam waited for a moment, trying to decide if this was the time to push his brother but before he could decide Dean turned onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

"I don't think I can do this anymore." he said quietly.

"What?" Sam was taken aback.

"Dad's gone, we don't know where the demon is – our family is ripped to Hell and I just don't think I can fight anymore."

"Dean." Sam searched for the right words. It wasn't that long ago he when asked Dean how he kept going; Dean had the inspirational words to convince Sam that their fight was a noble one but

Sam didn't know if he could convince Dean of the same thing. "Look, I don't know why Dad left. He probably thinks he's protecting us from something. But – you and I are still together and we can still help people while we look for the demon."

"Why, Sam? No matter how much we fight, we can't win. There are more of them than there are of us."

"What about all the people we've helped? All the other families? And I told you before that I have to find the thing that killed Jessica. I want the real answers."

"I'm sorry, Sam." Dean whispered.

Sam wanted to be angry. He'd given up so much for the fight and now Dean wanted to stop. But he couldn't be angry because as much as Sam had given up, that much had been taken from Dean. Nothing meant more to Dean than his family and the father he idolized let him down in so many ways and even Dean had a breaking point. Sam hung his head.

* * *

He stood behind a car in the motel parking lot. The curtain in the boys' room was closed but he could see a light was still on which meant they weren't asleep yet. He wanted to kick open the door and go in but he knew he couldn't do that. Instead he waited until the room went dark and then left the parking lot on foot._

* * *

_

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them._

_A/N: Thanks to Kelli for beta reading and for giving me encouragement in all areas of my life. I don't know where I'd be without her! Also thanks to those who reviewed; I really appreciate it._

**Role Reversal**

**Chapter 3**

Sam lay awake listening to the steady rhythm of Dean's breathing. His brother had fallen asleep finally but Sam found himself staring at the ceiling. He didn't know what to say to Dean; he didn't know how to make him forget about what their father had done to them. He didn't even have the energy to try to convince Dean that maybe John was possessed; Sam didn't really feel that was what happened anyway. He glanced at the other bed when he heard Dean shift. Sam willed Dean back to sleep; he hadn't gotten much since being released from the hospital. Sam had gotten used to waking up at odd times and finding Dean already awake. He realized what Dean must have felt like when Sam was having nightly dreams.

Sam couldn't help but see how their roles had reversed. After Jessica died he had been broken and bitter. He'd been angry and ran into every situation head on without regard for the consequences. Dean took care of him as Dean always did and eventually Sam was less angry. The guilty dreams about Jessica stopped and although the visions continued, Sam learned to sleep around them. Now Dean was bitter about their father's disappearance and he needed Sam's help. Sam just didn't know what help that was.

Relieved when Dean fell asleep, Sam rolled over and tried to do the same.

* * *

He didn't need to sleep but he lay in a bed in another motel room just the same. He knew where they should be going next but he sensed something was wrong. There was usually an excitement before a new job but this time there was nothing.

* * *

When Sam woke up the next morning Dean was sitting at the small table in front of the window, staring intently at the computer screen.

"Hey." Sam said.

Dean glanced at him. "Hey. Sleep okay?"

"Yeah, dream free. You all right?"

"Sure."

"What are you doing?"

"Playing Solitaire. There's still some coffee left."

A few minutes later Sam was sitting across the table from his brother, a cup of coffee in front of him.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Since not too long after you finally went to sleep."

Sam looked at him surprised. How did Dean always know? Sam didn't know how to proceed; he wanted to talk about what Dean had said last night but he knew that was the last thing his brother would want to discuss.

"I think I'm going to take a shower. You want to grab some breakfast when I'm done?"

"Sure."

Sam looked at his brother for a moment then headed to the bathroom.

"Do you want to check out before we go for breakfast?" Dean asked when Sam was done with his shower.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know; what about that news story you showed me yesterday?"

"Dean –"

His brother looked up from the computer. The expression on his face told Sam that he wouldn't get Dean to continue last night's conversation. He sighed and took his cell phone from the bedside table. "Let's grab some breakfast. We can figure out where we're going and then check out."

Dean stood up but had barely taken a step when he leaned heavily on the table.

"Dean?" Sam was ready to rush to his side.

"I'm all right." Dean waved him off. "Just sore."

"Probably spent too much time on the road yesterday. Maybe we should take it easy today."

"Don't coddle me." Dean said angrily as he stood up straight. He took a few careful steps then strode confidently to the door. "I'm fine."

Sam walked out of the room behind his brother, aware that although Dean was putting on a good front he was in pain. When he was released from the hospital Dean was cautioned to get plenty of rest and exercise daily to get his muscles back in shape; but Dean was bound and determined to put as much distance between them and the accident and spent more time in the car than he should. Sam suspected it wasn't really the accident he was running from but more the place where their father deserted them.

They sat in a corner booth at the diner next to the motel. On any other morning when they actually took time for breakfast, Dean would order bacon and eggs but Sam was shocked when his brother asked only for cold cereal and milk.

"I was thinking about that job." Sam began. "The news article I showed you last night?"

"What about it?"

"I don't think I'm up for it."

Dean looked up from the newspaper he'd found on his side of the booth. "Really."

"Yeah, I mean-"

"You're giving me an out."

"What?"

"Because of what I said last night. You're giving me an out."

"Dean-"

"Don't Sam."

"Don't what?"

"Don't patronize me. Don't treat me different."

"You're acting different." Sam said quietly, wrapping his hands around the cup of coffee the waitress had just left.

Dean folded the newspaper and put it aside. "I guess I am."

"Besides, whether or not you want to do this gig, you're not ready."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked with a sudden flash of anger.

"It's pretty obvious that you're in pain."

"I'm fine." Dean said, his eyes cold.

"Bullshit."

Dean looked at his brother in surprise and glanced away when the waitress brought their food. The aroma of Sam's pancakes made Dean momentarily nauseous but he quickly recovered and ate a spoonful of cereal. Sam watched him for a moment with concern then started on his own breakfast. They ate in silence.

* * *

He could tell the brothers were disagreeing about something. He could also tell something was wrong with Dean. Sam knew it too, but he didn't know all of it. Things would be different now.

* * *

_TBC_


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them._

_A/N: Thanks to Kelli for beta reading and for giving me encouragement in all areas of my life. I don't know where I'd be without her! Also thanks to those who reviewed; I really appreciate it._

**Role Reversal**

**Chapter 4**

Sam was pretty sure they'd stay in town for one more day. Dean wouldn't admit how bad he felt and there was still the problem of him not wanting to hunt anymore. They walked back to the motel room slowly with Dean still putting on an almost believable front.

"So what do you want to do?" Sam asked as they walked back into the room.

Dean sat down carefully. "I shouldn't have said what I did last night. Whatever is going on with Dad, we got unfinished business with a demon. I owe it to Mom and to Jessica –"

"You don't owe Jessica anything." Sam said quickly. "You barely even knew her."

"But you loved her and I – well, that's good enough for me."

Sam smiled briefly. "We've had this conversation before. Do you really think this is what Mom would have wanted for us?"

"I don't know, Sam." Dean whispered. "Look man, I'm trying to do the right thing here but I don't know what that is. If you want to go after this demon, I'm with you. And if you want to deal with other things along the way, I'm with you there too."

Sam sat down next to his brother. "I know you are, Dean, but you can't do this for me."

Dean looked miserable.

"How about this?" Sam suggested. "How about we go someplace where we can just rest; get back up to speed physically?

"Home." Dean whispered.

"What?"

"I want to go home, Sam. To Lawrence."

_She looked up from the magazine she was reading. Something was wrong. She didn't know what, but something was bringing the boys home. _

Sam watched in a shocked silence as Dean slowly walked to the bathroom. Their last trip to Lawrence exorcised some of Dean's personal demons as well as a real poltergeist, but Sam was surprised his brother would want to go back there. They met Missouri Mosley, the psychic who originally told John about the demon that killed Mary. Missouri would occasionally call to find out how they were doing, but Dean would turn down every invitation to come for a visit. It scared Sam that he wanted to go back now.

While Dean packed the rest of their things, Sam started to load the car. He was outside when his cell phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered without looking at the caller id display.

"Sam –"

"Missouri." he wasn't particularly surprised to hear her voice.

"You're coming home."

"That wasn't a question, was it?"

"No. Am I right?"

"You're right."

"What's going on, Sam?"

She knew about the fight with the demon and John's disappearance because Sam had called her from the hospital. He intentionally didn't tell her how badly Dean was injured, but Sam was sure she already knew.

"It's Dean, isn't it?"

"Dean? What do you know, Missouri?"

"It was his idea to come home."

"Yeah, it was. Why? Why does he want to come to Lawrence?

"I don't know, Sam." she said thoughtfully. "I don't know."

"Do you know where Dad is?" he asked suddenly.

"No."

"No like last time?"

"No, Sam. I really don't know where he is."

Sam saw Dean walk out of the room carrying his duffle bag and the computer case. It hurt him to see Dean struggle with a relatively small load.

"Missouri," he said quickly. "How bad is Dean hurt?"

"You don't know?"

"No." Sam said quietly. "Not for sure."

"Get him here, Honey."

Sam felt sick. "Missouri –"

"You've got time."

"Missouri –"

"Don't be reckless. I'll see you in a couple of days."

Sam slipped his phone back into his pocket. "I got it," he said taking the duffle bag from Dean. He felt a cold chill when Dean gave it to him without any resistance and then gave him the keys to the car.

"Dean," Sam began once they were in the car. "I think you need to see a doctor."

"No, I don't."

"You're worse off than you were yesterday and if you haven't noticed, you're not driving."

"I'll admit it; I'm tired and I'm sore. You're probably right that we've spent too much time in the car, but I don't need to see a doctor."

Sam looked unconvinced.

"Don't worry, okay?"

Sam had never heard quite that tone in Dean's voice before and he didn't know how to read it.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"I'm telling you everything I know, Sam."

"What about what you're thinking? Why do you want to go to Lawrence?"

"I'm not sure."

Sam looked at him disbelieving.

"It just – I just want to be there, okay?"

Sam sighed and started the car. "Okay. But we're taking it slow and you're going to get some rest and some exercise. If you're not any better tomorrow I'm going to take you to a doctor to have you checked out. If you avoid going to a doctor by faking improvement, I'll shoot you."

"Again?" Dean asked with the hint of a smile on his face.

"Shut up."


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them._

_A/N: Thanks to Kelli for beta reading and for giving me support in all areas of my life. I don't know where I'd be without her! Also thanks to those who reviewed; you guys have gone above and beyond. I really appreciate the comments and I'm hoping this old chick's GPA doesn't suffer because of your encouragement _

_This one doesn't end in a particularly uplifting place but I promise not to make you wait too long to find out what happens next._

**Role Reversal**

**Chapter 5**

Sam drove toward their hometown while Dean dozed in the passenger seat. The scene was a little surreal to Sam because it wasn't that long ago when he was the one who got no sleep at night and dozed in the Impala while Dean drove. But this wasn't before and they weren't in the Impala. Sam resisted the urge to reach out and lay a hand on his brother's arm. He didn't want to wake him, nor did he want to explain himself.

"Where are we?" Dean muttered a while later.

"I'm not exactly sure; we just passed through some little town but I didn't pay attention to the name."

"You sure we're going in the right direction?"

Sam shot him an annoyed look. "Yes, I'm sure."

Dean crossed his arms and leaned against the door. "I miss the Impala."

"Yeah, I do too."

Dean's beloved car was destroyed when the semi ran into them. Sam had tried to have it fixed before Dean was released from the hospital but it was hopeless. Dean suspected the car was totaled but he was heartbroken when Sam gave him the news; that was something else that sent him into a bout of silence.

"You hungry?" Sam asked. "There's another town about 30 miles up the road. We can stop, eat, take a walk –"

"A walk? Dude –"

"Exercise, Dean."

Dean settled further into the seat. "Whatever."

_

* * *

He guessed where they were going but it wasn't where they should be going. He was tempted to make his presence known but it wasn't the time. Not yet.

* * *

_

Sam stopped at a fast food restaurant and just like at breakfast, Dean chose a light meal but Sam didn't say anything. He wouldn't admit, even to himself, how worried he was about his brother. After they finished eating Sam, talked Dean into walking to a shopping center down the street from the restaurant. Dean didn't protest but Sam knew he was only doing it to appease him.

"You want to drive?" Sam asked when they got back to the car.

"You okay to drive?"

"Sure, no problem." Sam said looking at him.

Sam watched as Dean got into the passenger side of the car. He sighed then got behind the wheel. Dean fell asleep again once they were back on the road and Sam kept an eye on him as he drove.

Dean jerked awake and looked around, confused. The car wasn't moving and Sam wasn't in the driver's seat. About to panic, he took a deep breath when he saw Sam standing in the motel office. He rubbed his face and took a deep breath, trying to stop his hands from shaking.

"Hey, you're awake." Sam smiled when he opened the driver's side door. His smile faded when he saw how pale Dean was. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing – I just woke up."

Sam looked unconvinced.

"Where are we?"

"Pierre, South Dakota. We'll make Lawrence tomorrow."

Dean nodded. Sam watched him for a moment longer before starting the car and moving to closer to their room. They took the basics in with them and Dean sat down on the edge of the closest bed.

"Okay," Sam said with his hands on his hips. "You're going to tell me the truth."

Dean looked away.

"You're sick or hurt – you're more than just sore. What's going on?"

"Sam –"

"No Dean. You're not talking your way out of this one. You're not sleeping right, you're not interested in driving, and you wanted to go to _Lawrence_ of all places. What's going on?"

"Sam," Dean began quietly. "There is something going on, but I swear to you I don't know what it is. I don't feel well, and as for Lawrence – I'm just following an instinct."

"An instinct?"

Dean nodded. "I can't explain it any better than that. I just feel like we need to be in Lawrence; maybe go talk to Missouri."

"Yeah. Look, uh, Missouri called. She already knew we were coming home and she knew it was your idea."

Dean didn't look completely surprised. "What else does she know?"

"She didn't tell me anything else."

Dean nodded.

Sam looked at his brother. He didn't like his pale skin or the look in his eyes. He was tempted to insist Dean see a doctor but he didn't think he would win the argument. He thought about what Missouri had said about them having time to get to Lawrence and decided to wait until they were in town. Maybe Dean would listen to their friend.

"Do you want something to drink? I'm going to the vending machine."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Are you hungry? I could get you something down the street –"

"No, I'm fine. Go ahead if you want something."

"I'm good." Sam said checking his pockets for change. "I'll be right back."

When Sam got back to the room with two soft drinks Dean was already asleep; he was on his back, on top of the covers, still completely dressed. Sam gently removed his shoes then covered him with the comforter from the other bed. Dean muttered but didn't wake up. Sam watched him for a few minutes before he pulled out the laptop and settled at the small desk across the room. He looked up from the article he was reading later when he heard Dean moan and shift on the bed. He went back to reading but a cold pang went through him when he heard Dean softly calling out for their father. Sam sat down on the bed and put his hand on Dean's shoulder. He could feel the heat emanating from him and shook him gently.

"Dean, wake up."

Dean only muttered.

Sam rushed into the bathroom and came back with a washcloth doused in cold water. He wiped Dean's forehead, talking to him gently. Sam grew more nervous when he couldn't wake Dean and the fever scared him just as much. He made the decision quickly; he had to get Dean to a doctor.

_TBC_


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them._

_A/N: Thanks to Kelli for beta reading and for giving me support in all areas of my life. I don't know where I'd be without her! _

_Also thanks to those who reviewed; you guys have gone above and beyond. I really appreciate the comments and I'm hoping this old chick's GPA doesn't suffer because of your encouragement, LOL._

_I have to admit that I like torturing Dean. I don't want to hurt him permanently, but I want to see what happens when he's pushed to the edge. I think if John were to intentionally walk away from his sons again, that would certainly push him to the edge. Let's just hope Sam can get him back!_

**Role Reversal**

**Chapter 6**

"He's going to be fine." The doctor assured Sam. "He has an infection but we've got him on antibiotics and the fever should break soon. It looks like he's recovering from some pretty nasty injuries."

Sam nodded. "We were in a car accident not too long ago."

The doctor nodded. "He'll probably be able to go home tomorrow."

"I couldn't wake him –"

"That was the fever. He woke up briefly after we put him in his room and asked for you but he's gone back to sleep."

"Can I see him?"

"Of course."

Sam stood just inside the room watching his brother. He'd spent too much time next to a hospital bed recently and even though the doctor just told him Dean would be fine, he had a nervous feeling in his stomach. Hesitantly, Sam approached the bed. Dean still felt too warm and there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead. He blanched when Dean whimpered and called for their father.

"Dean." Sam said, his voice catching.

"Dad –" Dean called again.

"Dad isn't here." Sam said more sternly than he intended.

Dean struggled to open his eyes. "Sammy."

Sam smirked to himself. "Yeah, Dean, it's Sammy."

Normally he hated the childhood nickname, although it gave him occasional comfort, but right now he didn't care what Dean called him as long as he was all right.

"My fault."

"What?" Sam leaned closer to hear Dean better.

"My fault Dad isn't here."

"No it isn't, Dean. It's not your fault."

"Stopped you."

"Stopped me? From shooting Dad? Dean, you were right."

"Lost demon."

"Yeah we did. But you're more important to me than the demon." Sam put his hand on Dean's arm. "I loved Jessica, I will always love her, but she's gone."

Sam hesitated a moment as his voice broke. "But you're still with me and you always have been. Even when I was in school, you were still with me. Dad said that killing the demon came before everything but he was wrong, Dean. The family is more important. You're more important. If Dad doesn't see that, we're better off without him."

Dean sighed. "Really tired."

"I know. It's okay, go to sleep."

Sam waited until Dean was completely asleep, watching him intently. After a few minutes more he left the room. He intended to go back to the motel for the night but instead he paced in front of the car angrily. He pulled his cell phone from a jacket pocket and dialed John Winchester's number. He didn't expect an answer and didn't get one. He waited for the voicemail greeting to end, still pacing angrily in front of the car.

"It's Sam. I have no idea if you'll hear this, or if you'll even care, but Dean is in the hospital again. What he needs more than anything is for you to talk to him and tell him that you're not disappointed in him. And if you are disappointed, you're out of your mind. Dean has done everything you asked of him his entire life and he was devastated when you ran out on him last year. Of course he'd never admit that but he was. When he came to get me at school – look, I was the one with the gun and it was my decision not to shoot when the demon had you. Dean was right to tell me not to do it, but it was my choice and you shouldn't blame him for it.

I don't know exactly what's going on with him, but he wanted to go to Lawrence, so that's where I'm taking him. As soon as he's up to traveling again, we'll be on our way. I hope you'll be there because your oldest son needs you."

Sam pocketed the phone again. He was about to get into the car when his phone rang. He answered it quickly.

"Sam?"

He took a deep breath. "Missouri."

"How is Dean?"

"He's in the hospital; he has an infection. Missouri you said I had time to get him to Lawrence."

"I know. I thought you did. But there's more to come, Sam. This isn't why Dean wanted to be

in Lawrence."

"I don't understand."

"Something is coming, Sam. Something is coming here and somehow Dean knows it."

"Why don't I?"

"I don't know. I think this is Dean's fight-"

"No way. Dean's fight is my fight."

"Don't leave him alone tonight, Sam."

"He's in a hospital. What can happen?"

"Sam –"

Sam looked toward the hospital, suddenly wanting to be with his brother. "I'll call you in the morning."

Back in the hospital Sam convinced the nurses on the floor to let him stay in Dean's room. His brother was still sleeping but he was restless. He pulled a chair next to the bed and laid a hand on his brother's arm.

"It's okay, Dean. I'm staying here tonight and you'll probably be released tomorrow. I'll take you to Lawrence and we'll get all this figured out."

"Dad –"

"Dean, Dad isn't here." Sam said unhappily.

Dean grabbed Sam's arm suddenly and opened his eyes. "I know. Something –" his hand dropped from Sam's arm and Dean fell back onto the pillow. "I just keep getting this feeling. Did you call him?"

"Yeah I did." Sam said. "But you know how that goes."

Dean looked unhappy. "Yeah."

"Just go to sleep, okay? Get some rest and we'll get you out of here tomorrow."

"Go back to the motel and get some rest yourself."

"No, I'm staying here."

Dean looked at him. "Why?"

Sam debated quickly but decided not to tell him about the conversation with Missouri. "Because

I am."

Dean didn't have the energy to argue. He closed his eyes and was asleep a few minutes later.

_TBC_


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them._

_A/N: Thanks to Kelli for beta reading and for giving me support in all areas of my life. I don't know where I'd be without her! _

_I hate to do this over a weekend but this is the last of what I have ready to go. The ending is written but Kelli is out of town and it will probably be the middle of the week before I can get the ending to you. I'm sorry! I appreciate everyone who has read up to this point and those who have reviewed. I'm having a great time!_

_There's a conversation in this chapter that I'm particularly proud of; I hope you all like it as much as I do._

**Role Reversal**

**Chapter 7**

Sam drifted off a while later, but woke up when the door opened. A nurse walked in and smiled at him briefly as she went to Dean's bed. Something didn't feel right and Sam stood up to stretch before innocently joining her at Dean's side.

"I'm just checking on him." she said.

Sam nodded.

"You look like you've slept in more comfortable places." she smiled.

"I have, but this is fine."

"Your friend is lucky to have you around."

Sam smiled politely.

"Well, it looks like he's doing just fine. The fever is down."

"Good."

"Maybe you should go home and get some sleep. He'll be all right; he probably won't even wake up."

"I'll stay here, thanks."

She looked slightly irritated before smiling again and turning to leave the room. Sam looked at his brother; nothing seemed to have changed. He wasn't sure how he was going to drive if Dean was released from the hospital in the morning but keeping an eye on things was important. He returned to the chair but didn't sleep the rest of the night.

"Sam."

He turned from the window. "Hey."

"Did you sleep? You look like hell."

"You too." Sam smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." Dean sat up a little more. "Uh – thanks for – you know."

"Yeah, don't mention it." Sam said as the doctor walked in.

"Good morning." he smiled glancing at the chart. "It looks like you had a good night."

"I slept through it." Dean joked.

"Well, I think all things considered, there's no reason not to release you today. I'll send you off with a prescription for antibiotics; you'll need to get plenty of rest, and drink a lot of fluids. You're still healing from those other injuries and unless you want to end up back in the hospital you'll take better care of yourself."

Dean refused to look at his brother's grin.

They were back on the road later. Sam was tired, but after a couple cups of coffee and Dean able to stay awake to talk with him, he was fine to drive. He would really appreciate a warm bed that night though.

"You okay, man?" Dean asked later when they stopped for gas.

"Yeah. We'll be there in a couple hours anyway."

Dean shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "Hey Sam, uh, all this – I just wanted to say thanks."

Sam finished pumping the gas and looked at his brother. "You don't have to thank me. You'd have done – you _have_ done the same thing for me."

"Yeah, but still. Thanks, okay?" Dean looked at Sam, his expression saying more than his words ever could.

"You're welcome." Sam said simply and a few minutes later they were back on the road.

_

* * *

_

_What the hell are they doing, he wondered. Why Lawrence? He knew what happened last time they were there; Mary's spirit had saved Sam from a poltergeist which was terrorizing the young family now living in their house and in doing so she and the poltergeist had cancelled each other out. Was it possible Sam had a premonition about Lawrence? About Mary? Was that what took them back home? He also wondered about the hospital visit. Just what was wrong with Dean? Why didn't he know what was going on? Why couldn't he see their plans? He was starting to think he needed to change his tactics._

* * *

I'm not covering for you again, John Winchester." Missouri said to the man in her living room, pulling him out of his thoughts. "I told you last time, those boys need their father and it's true now more than then."

He looked at her.

"Those boys have been through Hell and back because of that demon." she looked at him. "And because of you. Don't add to their misery any longer. They may be grown, but they still need their daddy. Especially your oldest boy."

"What's going on with him?"

"Other than the obvious?"

"The obvious?"

Missouri rolled her eyes and sat down next to John. "Now I know you are not that stupid."

"Missouri –"

"Do I need to tell you that Dean blames himself for you leaving? He thinks you're disappointed in him for not letting Sam shoot you." she glared at him. "Maybe that boy should have shot your lousy self. You've not been a father to them in a long time and after all they've done for you; especially Dean."

"They had the chance to end this. To kill the demon and they didn't do it."

"They lost their mother. They grew up with only you, never living anywhere long enough to even make a friend and you actually think they would be able to kill you? Maybe you are stupid, John Winchester."

He looked away.

"The demon –"

"There will be another way to kill the demon."

John looked thoughtful. "I told Sam, right before that truck hit us, that everything was second to killing the demon. I remember – he looked in the rearview mirror before he told me 'no sir'. He didn't do it for me. If Dean hadn't been there Sam would have shot me. He would have killed the demon. He stopped for his brother."

"You feelin' sorry for yourself? Sorry that maybe you taught Sam too well?"

John rubbed his face. "I don't know what I'm feeling."

"You better figure it out. Your boys are here."

_TBC_


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them._

_A/N: Thanks to Kelli for beta reading and for giving me support in all areas of my life. I don't know where I'd be without her! I also had a couple other friends read the final parts because I didn't feel confident in the ending but I got their okay to go forward._

_Thanks for all the reviews and private messages. I really appreciate your feedback!_

**Role Reversal**

**Chapter 8**

Missouri opened the door before Sam could knock. Without a word she hugged him and then Dean. They went in, and stood just inside the door.

"There's someone here to see you." she said.

The brothers exchanged a look.

"Go ahead in." Missouri motioned.

"Dad." Sam said seeing John standing in front of the couch.

"Sam. Dean." he hadn't expected to feel this way when he saw them; he felt love and concern but nothing of the disappointment he felt before.

Dean turned away and walked into the kitchen. Sam hesitated for a moment, looking back at his father, before following him.

"You okay?"

Dean leaned against the counter.

"Dean?"

"I don't want to be here." Dean whispered.

"Come on, man. It's Dad. We can fix everything now."

"Sam –"

"Dean, this is our family."

"_You_ are my family. I'm done with him."

"You don't mean that."

Dean looked at him defiantly.

"Dean –" Sam sighed. "Okay, I understand how you feel. But –"

"It's okay, Sammy. Go talk to him."

"Boys?" Missouri walked into the kitchen. "Is everything okay in here?"

They looked at each other then at Missouri.

"It's fine." Sam said.

"Dean, why don't you and I go outside for a bit?" she suggested.

Dean looked at her. She smiled and hooked her arm through his before leading him outside. In the past she had given him a hard time, treated him more harshly than she did Sam, but she loved him as much as she loved the younger brother. Maybe even a little bit more and maybe that's why she was harder on him.

"When did he get here?" Dean demanded as Missouri sat in a chair on the back porch.

"Earlier today. You thinkin' he's been here the whole time?"

Dean paced. "Maybe."

"Well I promise you that he hasn't been. He came because of Sam's phone call."

Dean looked at her.

"You might want to sit down, Son. I know you're not well."

Grudgingly Dean took the chair across from her. He didn't want to admit how weak he still felt even though it was impossible to hide anything from Missouri.

"So what haven't you told your brother?"

Dean looked away.

"And what didn't you tell the doctor?"

She waited but Dean didn't answer.

"You've been having dreams?" she slapped his leg. "Answer me, Boy."

"Not dreams. Not exactly." he said quietly.

"What, exactly?"

"I don't know how to explain it. It's just – I go to sleep and when I wake up it's like I know things, but not really. It's like watching a movie for the second time but not being able to quite remember what happens."

Missouri looked thoughtful. "You haven't told Sam about this?"

Dean shook his head.

"Lord." she muttered. "Why don't you Winchesters just talk to each other?"

"I don't know what's going on." Dean said sadly. "And I don't like not knowing what's going on. I don't like feeling this way."

"What way, Dean?" she asked, her tone softening.

"Sick. And not just the fever that put me back in the hospital. I feel nauseous almost all the time and weak. I hate feeling weak."

"And you didn't tell the doctor. Why?"

"It's not something the doctor could fix."

"How do you know?"

He looked at her. "I just know."

TBC...


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them._

_A/N: Thanks to Kelli for beta reading and for giving me support in all areas of my life. I don't know where I'd be without her! I also appreciate all the friends I've made because of this show. _

_Please feel free to let me know what you think of my version of what happened after the season finale._

**Role Reversal**

**Chapter 9**

Dean didn't remember exactly when the feeling started; he didn't know if it was all of a sudden or if it was just something he became conscious of at some point. At first he attributed the weakness to having spent so long in the hospital and needing to recover from his injuries but gradually he realized there was more to it than that. He saw how worried Sam was, even though the younger man didn't tell him, but he still couldn't confide in his brother. Something drew him to Lawrence. It felt important to be here but he didn't know why. He stood up and walked to the edge of the porch. He felt uneasy; almost like a storm was coming.

Sam stood just inside the living room staring at his father. "You got my voice mail?"

John nodded. "You sounded pretty angry."

"I was. Still am. Why the hell did you leave the hospital like that? You didn't know if Dean was going to make it –"

"I knew he'd be fine. My leaving took care of that."

"What? What does that mean, Dad?"

John opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind. He walked to the window and started out to the street.

"Tell me, Dad. Why did you leave? Were you chasing the demon?"

"No." John sighed. "I knew that if I stayed with you something would happen. If I stayed, Dean would die."

Sam looked at him. "How could you know that?"

John turned to look at his son. The truth of the matter was that when the demon possessed him he learned things that frightened him like nothing else could. He saw that the three of them together would summon the demon like a beacon. He had to leave them so they would have time to recover physically. They had to be strong enough to fight the final battle.

"What brought you home?" Missouri asked.

"Just a feeling. I couldn't face hunting yet and –" he stopped.

"And you felt too sick to let Sam depend on you in a pinch."

Dean nodded, not looking at her. "I woke up and just _knew_ somehow that we needed to be here.

It started here and it will end here."

"Are you saying the demon is going to be here?"

Dean suddenly felt something. He stood straighter. "It's not going to be here; it's here."

Missouri stood up. "Here?"

"Close." Dean said quietly. "Watching. Damnit, it's been watching us the whole time!"

"What do you mean?" Missouri was inclined to think Dean was overreacting to something because she couldn't feel the demon but something about him made her doubt herself instead.

"This feeling I've had. I know what it is now. The demon is watching us."

Missouri suddenly collapsed and Dean rushed forward to catch her calling her name. He settled her gently on the floor, listening intently as she whispered to him. He touched her cheek affectionately then looked toward the house. "Sam-"

Dean ran into the house stopping suddenly when he saw John standing over Sam's prone body on the floor. "What did you do to him?"

John looked Dean with the golden eyes of the demon that killed Mary Winchester all those years ago.

"What did you do to him?" he demanded again. He moved toward Sam, but John blocked his way. Dean glared at him.

"He's mine. He always has been and now I'm going to take him with me."

Dean glanced at his brother trying to see if he was injured but he saw nothing obvious.

"He's not yours." Dean hissed. "He's –"

"What?" John laughed. "Yours? I don't think so."

Dean felt himself being thrown backward. He grunted when he hit the wall and was stunned after falling to the floor. He saw his father, the demon, turn his attention to Sam. He stood over the youngest Winchester whispering something that Dean couldn't make out. He struggled to stand but was pushed back to the floor.

"SAM!" Dean yelled. He was frantic; something was happening to his brother and he was powerless to help. "SAMMY!"

A moment later the demon turned his attention back to Dean.

"You know," he said moving forward. "You've always been such a pain in the ass. Sam almost

didn't go to school because of you. I should have taken him when he broke free of you and _Daddy_ but the time just wasn't right."

The demon watched, amused, as Dean fought to get up. The hatred emanating from him was almost physical and the look in his eyes would have terrorized almost anyone else.

"What do you want with my brother?" Dean spat.

The demon smiled. "Your brother. He stopped being your brother the night I killed your mother."

"He is MY brother. He doesn't belong to you. You can't have him."

"I've had him his entire life, don't you realize that? When John went on his idiotic crusade what did Sam do? Did he embrace it? Hardly. He fought John – and you – every step of the way. Why do you think that is? He knows where his rightful place is. With _me_."

Dean fought to free himself from the demon's invisible grasp. His chest burned with pain from the injuries the demon caused before and the nausea he felt was making the room spin. But all he could think about was getting Sam away from the demon. He had to protect his brother; it was his most important job.

"Your father was stronger than I expected. I didn't expect him to figure out what happened that night." the demon said, almost dreamily. "He wouldn't have if he hadn't found that damn psychic."

"You didn't have to kill her."

The demon dismissed the comment with a waive of his hand.

Dean closed his eyes for a moment. One by one, this thing was taking everyone away from him.

He didn't know how, but he would stop it from taking Sam.

_TBC_


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: The Winchesters belong to Eric Kripke and I will be forever grateful to him for sharing them with us. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing them from time to time; I promise to return them as I found them._

_A/N: Thanks to Kelli for beta reading and for giving me support in all areas of my life. I don't know where I'd be without her! _

_Well here ya go. This is the final chapter. I hope I didn't disappoint you! _

**Role Reversal**

**Chapter 10**

"John did an acceptable job of training Sam, even though he was training him for the wrong purpose. I can't blame him, he didn't know." the demon paced in front of Dean. "I almost took Sam a few times over the years but there were a lot of things to put in place and he was safe enough with you and John when he was growing up."

The demon squatted in front of Dean. "You know, I never really understood what pulled John away from that job in Jericho. I still don't know what he ran across that made him run but it doesn't really matter. And then you had to go to Stanford to get Sam. You were so afraid to be alone. Pathetic. You hadn't seen him for two years; I didn't expect you to go to him but you did."

He stood. "And he left pretty little Jessica to go with you. When I saw that, heh, I was surprised.

But he did the right thing and came home."

"So why kill Jessica?" Dean struggled to ask.

"I told you before. She and _Mommy_ got in the way."

"No. There's more to it than that."

The demon shrugged. "Maybe."

Dean watched as the demon walked back over to Sam.

"It's about time for us to go. The question is, what to do with you?"

Dean groaned involuntarily as the demon pushed invisible claws into his chest.

"Why aren't you calling for _Daddy_ like you did last time?" the demon asked. "Is it because you're mad at him for leaving you again? Or are you afraid that he won't try to help you this time?"

The demon laughed then turned his attention back to Sam.

Dean knew what he had to do, but he didn't know how to do it. The pain was nearly unbearable and he was bleeding profusely but his only chance was while the demon was preoccupied with Sam. He tapped into something he didn't understand and managed to crawl to a nearby cabinet. He heard Sam moan but he couldn't let himself be distracted; it hurt to move and he had to get this done before he bled to death or Sam would be lost forever.

With a strength he could never have guessed he had, Dean opened the cabinet. It was there, just as Missouri had whispered to him. The Colt. The gun they'd taken from the vampires. The gun with the bullets that could kill any demon. Bullet, Dean reminded himself. There was only one bullet left; he would only have one chance. The gun felt so heavy in his hand. He felt so sick, so weak.

Sam, he thought to himself. It was all for Sam. Everything else was expendable; but not his brother.

Somehow Dean made it to his knees, but that was as far as he would get. The demon was standing over Sam; whispering; chanting. Sam was writhing, muttering incoherently. Dean knew he didn't have much time.

He held the gun up, aiming carefully.

"Hey." he called.

The demon found himself unable to resist Dean's voice; he turned slowly to see the Colt revolver aimed at his chest. He smiled.

"You can't kill your father."

"You're not my father."

"Heh. No, but he's in here. Just like before."

"I wasn't holding the gun before."

"You begged Sam not to shoot."

"Yeah and look what that got me." Dean hesitated only a moment before pulling the trigger.

The demon's eyes changed and all Dean could see was his father. He crawled over toward him, sitting on the floor and cradling John's head in his lap.

"Dean," John whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Dad," Dean could feel the tears well in his eyes.

"You did the right thing. You saved Sammy."

"But you –"

John reached for his son's hand. "It's all right. I'll be with your mother."

Sam's eyes opened when he heard the gun fire and he saw his father fall to the floor. He heard the conversation between Dean and John as he slowly made his way across the room.

"Dad?" he sat down and put a hand on John's arm.

"Sammy."

The brothers exchanged a look.

"Boys," John struggled to speak. "I made a lot of mistakes –"

"Dad, don't." Dean begged.

John's body trembled.

"Dad," Sam squeezed John's arm. "I'm sorry –"

"Nothing to be sorry for, Son. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of both of you. You've become fine men."

John's body trembled but he smiled. He looked past his sons and whispered, "Mary."

His eyes closed and his head fell to the side. The brothers looked away from him and saw their mother, barely visible, across the room. She smiled at them and reached out her hand to John. He joined her, taking her hand.

"You're free now, boys. You're free to live the lives I should have given you. Take care of yourselves because I'll be watching. And you know what to do about this, right?"

"Yes, Sir." they said in unison.

A moment later they were alone.

So it was over. The battle they trained for over the last twenty-two years had been fought and they were victorious. But with their father dead between them it didn't feel much like a victory. They looked at each other and stood slowly.

"Dean." Sam said as they watched the flames.

"Yeah?" Dean answered quietly.

"How'd you know?"

Dean looked thoughtful. "You're my brother. And I'd die for you. But there are some things I have to keep to myself."

Sam looked at him, recognizing his own words.

"At least for now." Dean added quietly.

Sam looked at his brother and smiled to himself.

_Fin_


End file.
